Imagined Dragons

     I’ve learned a lot through this time in prison; from both observing and experiencing situations that were strange and new to me, as well as looking at familiar situations through wiser, more cautious, battle-tested eyes.
And, as a humble observer as well as a frustrated victim, I’m convinced to a man, that many (if not all) of the roadblocks we face in life are mostly (if not wholly) self-imposed. Occassionally as an aspiring writer, but 100% in the past when I was a rapper, I always imagined or even rapped about haters; folks that made it their mission to smudge up my name, or talk bad about my accomplishments. But, for all of the energy I spent trying to stunt harder to spite these phantoms, I could have (and should have) focused on creating better material, or doing a better job; working harder or performing better, and letting those that would talk bad just have their say. Mia told me: "I really doubt that there is a campaign somewhere that is working to keep you in prison.” That’s an ego check; who am I to command the attention-spans of people when I’ve been outta circulation for the better part of three years?

     TigerLily wrote me and said that, in a lot of ways, she thinks I’m a lot freer than those that sleep in their own beds at night. I wish it was physically so, but it made me think: essentially, freedom is a concept. It is, in fact, a mental state. My example aside, let’s take a look at migrant farmers, sweatshop workers, or even adolescent Sudanese or Somali children that fish or mine minerals to feed their families. They have leave to breathe fresh air and feel the sun's shine, but those things pale in comparison to the bondage of hunger and poverty that ensnares their physical bodies. Their liberty to pick up and go anywhere their feet could take them is crippled by their mental states' shackles. “Sure we could leave, but where would we go?”  In a way, knowing the possibilities and the greatness of the world outside of myself is liberating. The fading enamel on these concrete walls are merely a blink away from being gone. The fences, the gates, the barbed wire and gun towers take only two minutes of focus and, as if by magic, I can be anywhere in the world; experiencing the sights, sounds, smells, feels, and tastes of the future to come.

     When I started this blog entry speaking of imaginary haters, it spoke to a personal petty paranoia. But, if we look at it in the broader sense, what fake or imagined adversaries have we created or used as an excuse to not have, do, or accomplish the things we want to? Join me on this crusade! We could rock the old-school Camelot chainmail armor like Knights of the Round Table; or, we could look ourselves in the mirror, be honest and prudent, and slay the imagined dragons that impede our progress and slow our success.

Just for the record, I’m grateful for the love I get from people out there. For those that voice it, or support silently with smiles and page "likes" or book purchases: I am grateful, and thank you.

R. Venner

Check out the live interview between TigerLily and myself in podast form at:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QD9qNFT4kOY&feature=youtu.be