When sleep is this elusive, I am convinced that there is something genuine that needs to be articulated. So what’ll it be, brain? The biggest thing I've been dealing with is the constant flux of keeping momentum and motivation going for No Loose Ends; and, I have to tell you, I’m aware that we are in an era of super-short attention spans. If it’s not a six-second Vine that makes people laugh, or an up-to-the-minute tweet that happens because a celebrity did something in front of the camera that normal people are surprised by, it’s questionable if (in our packed lives) we’ll have time to pay attention. I don’t have a smart-phone. I don’t even have a dumb-phone at the moment; what I have is a boiling desire to change the condition my life is in. When I was stirred to alertness this morning, I thought it might have been the chili-dogs or a nightmare that woke me; but it wasn't. I’m awake right now at 4:00 AM because my brain realizes that I should go get a jump on today; because if I want a better life for myself, my daughter, my family, and even my friends, laying up and hoping things get better is about the biggest falsehood there is. We’ve got to get busy doing, and make our reality what we want it to be.
Everything you see around you started from a thought. The brain is beautiful and powerful; but we've grown comfortable, letting it get lazy; watching YouTube and living through others’ experiences. Think about the life that you want… for yourself; and don’t wait to make it happen, start immediately to make it real. You want to write a book: do it; you want a better job: go get it; you don’t have skills: start going to school and get them; but don’t waste another hour on the Grumpy Cat. If we stop being charmed by the flashing and blinking lights of technology for a second, you might remember we make those devices; and it takes a beautiful mind to create something so complex. But just because you’re not in the Silicon Valley, doesn't mean your brain is any less capable of achieving great things. Who cares that Madonna used the N-word?!?! Take your attention span back, and make a better life for yourself. Learn how to bake a cake from scratch. Fix your own brakes on your car. Write a letter to someone special to you. Take 10 minutes out of a day to just appreciate the beauty of the world we live in.
It’s not hard to wake up excited about the day when you know you’re moving towards a goal. When you feel progress, it will get harder and harder to sleep.
The fire I feel in my belly could be the chili-dogs - there were onions and jalapeños - but I’m certain, as I empty out this ink-pen, that it’s something greater. No Loose Ends is my first book, and only one fictional story. But it’s my pride and joy, and a blessing to find purpose when hope in this place is in short supply.