No Loose Ends

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Thursday, June 12, 2014

Happy Fathers Day

What’s up world? I want to take the time to tell you all about the man that made me into the R. Venner that I wished I could be all the time. My father, Ramsey Sr. My dad was a quiet, classy, giant. Not exactly physically imposing, he stood 5’ 10”, but his presence was mountainous. He was orphaned as a child in Providence, Colombia and forced to fend for himself from the age of six or seven as the legend goes. He was born in 1930 so the world he came up in was miles away from the panoramic we have now. No technology or ton of distractions to syphon off hours of productivity. If history is accurate this is a little after the invention of the automobile, so the trickle down to my father’s part of the planet may have only been whispers, and radio fairytales.

Well this man, with no formal education and basically a child of the village, did odd jobs to earn his keep as he grew up; Helping on peoples land and property, tending to animals and crops, caring for the elderly in exchange for room and board in a spare bedroom or even an attic at one point. In his adolescent years, he worked his way into a deckhand position aboard sailing vessels or passenger ships and he left his humble beginnings to see the world.

My older brother recently told me there isn’t a place you could point to on a map that our father didn’t have a story about, like he has put his two feet in and on the soil of every spot on the globe. I remember some of his stories, but Ramsey Sr. was 48 when I was born, so my appreciation for his history came way too late in his years I regret not asking him more about his life.

What I did get from the time we spent together, was first, an amazing work ethic. My father always was the rock in my eyes, he never complained about much, never needed an alarm clock to wake up, and insisted we be early to everything we had to do. He wasn’t in a rush or swayed by trends, and didn’t keep too many close friends. The bills were always paid, there was always food in the fridge, and even if we were on the bus we got to where we were going.

The other thing that my father had before there was a phase that described it was swag. In every picture I can remember going back into the big photo album with the crumbling black and white joints, my dad never smiled or cheesed big in photos. He was always stern and serious but he stood tall. Broad shouldered, powerful stance, always sharply dressed, with a look that told the camera – “you are fortunate to have this moment with me”.

His accent, and classic world view, made me think he was dated and out of touch when we clashed during my adolescence, but I reflect on those scolding’s and words of wisdom with great admiration today. His views were forged in harsh reality, and staving off starvation, without a mother and father to counsel or cuddle you. His outlook came from having to become a man not because he wanted to, but because he had to.

He couldn’t always convey his thoughts to me in clear concise dictation, hell, English was his second language. But he would get emotional when he lectured me about my bad behavior, because he wanted the world for me. He used to say, “Hold your head up high and be Ramsey man. Know you are man, be proud, be Ramsey”. It seems cryptic when you just read the words, but it was powerful as he nodded tight lipped, starting into a future I couldn't see.

The way he had to bare down and choke back tears sometimes drove home that he was giving me something that touched the very core of him. Self-contained, reserved, respected, wise, funny and fly as hell, Ramsey F. Venner Sr. was all that. He was a man. Happy Birthday and Happy Father’s Day Jefe. Te Quiero Macho.


R. Venner

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